Can Kim Kardashian Teach You About Break Up?
- Examine what happened, and ask yourself why. You have to
make it clear to yourself that this may not be entirely your
fault - or not your fault at all. Really thinking about the
reasons it ended can make it clearer to you that it takes
two people to start a relationship, but one discordant
person is enough to end it. It may also help you avoid
missteps in the future if you can identify areas where you
contributed to the demise of the relationship.
Don't rethink your decision. If the breakup was your
decision, bear in mind that thinking about all the good
times you had may cause you to forget the reason for why you
broke it off. By the same token, try not to second guess if
the decision to end things was not yours. It's very common
to overly romanticize the good parts of a relationship,
convincing yourself that maybe the bad parts weren't so bad
after all, maybe you could live with them. Or that maybe if
your ex could know just how you feel, s/he wouldn't want to
break up after all.
Accept your pain. Have your good long cries if you
feel like it. It's okay to be hurt, feel alone, and feel
like you have messed up. Accepting responsibility for your
mistakes or shortcomings is healthy, but you must also
accept that you are a good person, and this is not all
one-sided. Of course, a stage of denial is completely
natural, but acceptance is the key to being able to begin to
move on.
Think through everything thoroughly, but not obsessively. Go
ahead and mull it over, as many times as necessary, within
reason. Consider all the reasons you two broke up. Even if
it seems there wasn't a good reason, there certainly was one
- and probably more than one.
Understand that you enjoyed one another for a while, but
even though everything seemed okay to you, if the
relationship was not what your partner wanted for life, it
would have ended eventually, no matter what. In this
case, better sooner than later.
Talk to your friends. They are always a source of advice
and help. If you are close with any family members, they may
be a good source of advice/guidance. You want people around
you that love you and who will help you see that you should
love yourself too. Surrounding yourself with compassionate,
loving friends and family will help you see yourself as a
worthwhile, worthy person again, and you'll find it easier
to get steady on your feet again with your loved ones around
you in a comforting net.
No relationship is ever a failure if you manage to learn
something about yourself from having gone through it all
with your heart open to both joy and pain. Just because it
didn't work out doesn't mean it wasn't a necessary part of
your journey to becoming who you're meant to be. Allow at
least the learning part to enrich your life.
5 Surefire Ways to Heal Broken Heart
- You know you have been heart broken and you are probably at
a point that you think you have no hope; you think that you
can't go anywhere.
But before we go on, you have to understand that having a
richer life is the most important thing anyone can have. It
is very important to understand that your life is not meant
to be miserable, not the kind of life that you have to be
sad all day long.
Imaging the kind of life that you feel happy with the people
you love. All you want to is be happy, a kind of person who
says, well life is so good, people are good everything is
great . Can you picture that?
Now, I know that you want to get over a broken heart, you
are probably in a lot of pain and you want to get rid of all
problems you are facing. If you really want to feel happy
again you have to do the things that will make you happy or
move on a new relationship.
These are the things you have to consider.
It's Over
Know that you are NOT in relationship anymore; you need to
accept that, its over. Then you have to change the way you
think about your situation. I'll tell you a good example of
someone who stayed in a bad relationship for years, hurting
herself with that abusive husband.
This was a friend of mine named June. She is a very
intelligent woman but after being in a bad relationship for
a long time she started to believe that she is a bad person,
a person who deserve to be treated that way. Some of this
was learnt when she was a child.
As a child, June's mother used to tell her that she is
stupid and all her life she was trying to prove herself that
she is not stupid. In Most of her early life she was able to
get around that but when she got married, her husband
started to call her different names that diminished her.
After sometime she started to relive her early life and
believe that she is stupid. Her husband kept abusing her to
the point that she couldn't take it anymore; this is when
she decided to get over her husband
As you already know that it is not easy to go though a
divorce, it wasn't easy for June either. Although it was not
easy, she managed to escape that abusive life. She was able
to divorce him and have a full custody of all her three
children.
Well, that was not easy but the biggest problem was to
forget all that pain, her husband had been calling on her
all the time they had been together.
Ups and Downs
You see, no matter how you feel right now, you will get some
ups and downs and you will be tempted to go back to your ex,
but let me tell you this no matter how you want to go back,
remember that this is just a process of getting recovered.
You will always feel this way, you cannot live this life
without any loss, sometime in our life we experience this
but it will always makes us stronger.
Don't Feel Ashamed
Never feel shame about the situation; you are not a FAILURE
but the RELATIONSHIP fail. Never and I mean never feel like
you are done with your life. Life still goes on and you need
to become attentive with everything you do because if you
start to develop distractive behavior (like excessive
drinking) it going to get worse.
Some people try to get over the pain by trying to do things
that destroy themselves. They do these things to easy the
pain but it just worsens the situation. So be very careful
about the advice you get even those you read on the
Internet.
Beware Of Your Friends.
Be careful to what your friends tell you to do. They may
think they are helping you but in reality they are making it
hard for you to recover. You will find that your friends
tell you to go to a bar to meet new people or they may try
to hook you up with someone.
I'll tell you this if your broken heart is not ready, you
will get heartbroken even more.
Imagine a person admitted to the hospital with a back
injury, few hours after been released from the hospital he
decide to go back to work (that heavy construction work).
Even though he might think he is ok, his back is not. Any
excessive work will break his back but this time he might
not be able to recover quickly.
A bad relationship is like having a back injury. You have to
heal your back first before you go back to work. When you
break up with someone you love, you break your heart to the
point that you will need sometime to heal before you start a
new relationship.
Time Will Tell
You really need this time to feel better about yourself; you
need this time to appreciate that you are a special human
being, the one who has never been before. When you are heart
broken you lose this kind of worthiness. You think that you
are not important. Your heart is still sore.
Since it takes some time to heal, most people can't wait and
they start a new relationship few days (or even weeks) after
break up, only to find that they are getting themselves into
a nightmare. They get heart broken and they repeat the
process, going nowhere.
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